Being a new mum, one of the first things I worried about was ‘Mother rivalry’. As soon as I fell pregnant, I felt as though I entered a battlefield of mum’s – judgement everywhere. It might be hiding sometimes, but it’s there.
Definitely not cool.
I’ve been having a little think about the things that come up the most – in my opinion, anyway.
Breastfeeding vs. Bottle
“Breast is best”, they always say.
If you’ve had a baby, no doubt you’ve had that saying drummed into your head since day one. But really, it’s not always best. Sure, they say it has health benefits, and is a lovely bonding experience. And to that, I agree. However, for various reasons, not all women can breastfeed. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
I have a friend who wasn’t able to breastfeed. The pressure people put on her to do so, made her feel like a terrible mum, like she couldn’t bond with her baby the way she should – but of course, she is a fantastic mum, she just fed her baby differently. Her baby just didn’t play ball. Not mumma’s fault (or the baby’s, for that matter).
So, your baby slept allllll the way through the night, as soon as you brought him back from the hospital?
Of course he did. (raises eyebrow – if I could, anyway)
My baby has been quite good at sleeping during the night. He’ll wake 2 or 3 times, but as soon as he’s fed, it’s back to sleep. Not until I started going to a New Parent group, did I realise that this wasn’t the norm and that babies really do stay up all night. And when they’re struggling to maintain consciousness throughout the day, the last thing they want is people making a competition out of it.
well long our babies sleep throughout the night, we are all in this together, and we should support each other.
No bragging. Bragging is not allowed.
I think this one is really important. Babies hit the different milestones at different rates. Like our pregnancies, every little baby is different, and wonderful in their own little ways.
I’m guilty of this one. Not for bragging, but for listening to what other babies can do and wondering why mine can’t yet. Enter, Google. My best friend, but worst enemy at the same time, waiting to tell me that I’m doing everything wrong. Frenemies, perhaps? Either way, don’t let other people make you feel as though your baby is behind, because they will do it when they’re good and ready.
The School Gates
My baby isn’t even three months yet (*shudders*, he will be in 6 days), and I’m already worrying about when he starts school. I’ll have to mingle with all the pushy parents at the school gates, all the mums in their Range Rovers waiting for their wonder kid to finish school.
I can hear it now. “Oh my Timothy got an A, in Literacy” (says in a posh, bragging tone). I’m waiting for the other mums to go all Mean Girls on me, for wearing the wrong thing, or some other crap like that. Maybe it’s being at school again that brings it out in people.
Don’t let anyone make you feel inadequate as a parent. No matter what your methods are, no matter when your child starts to walk, talk or sleep all night, whether you leave them to cry, or not. You are wonderful! A big pat on the back to you (and a glass of wine).
If you agree/like this, or have any comments, please do share or comment below :)