Mums at war

Mum's at war

Being a new mum, one of the first things I worried about was ‘Mother rivalry’. As soon as I fell pregnant, I felt as though I entered a battlefield of mum’s – judgement everywhere. It might be hiding sometimes, but it’s there.

Definitely not cool.

I’ve been having a little think about the things that come up the most – in my opinion, anyway.

Breastfeeding vs. Bottle

“Breast is best”, they always say.

If you’ve had a baby, no doubt you’ve had that saying drummed into your head since day one. But really, it’s not always best. Sure, they say it has health benefits, and is a lovely bonding experience. And to that, I agree. However, for various reasons, not all women can breastfeed. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I have a friend who wasn’t able to breastfeed. The pressure people put on her to do so, made her feel like a terrible mum, like she couldn’t bond with her baby the way she should – but of course, she is a fantastic mum, she just fed her baby differently. Her baby just didn’t play ball. Not mumma’s fault (or the baby’s, for that matter).

Sleep

So, your baby slept allllll the way through the night, as soon as you brought him back from the hospital?

Of course he did. (raises eyebrow – if I could, anyway)

My baby has been quite good at sleeping during the night. He’ll wake 2 or 3 times, but as soon as he’s fed, it’s back to sleep. Not until I started going to a New Parent group, did I realise that this wasn’t the norm and that babies really do stay up all night. And when they’re struggling to maintain consciousness throughout the day, the last thing they want is people making a competition out of it.

However well long our babies sleep throughout the night, we are all in this together, and we should support each other.

No bragging. Bragging is not allowed.

Milestones

I think this one is really important. Babies hit the different milestones at different rates. Like our pregnancies, every little baby is different, and wonderful in their own little ways.

I’m guilty of this one. Not for bragging, but for listening to what other babies can do and wondering why mine can’t yet. Enter, Google. My best friend, but worst enemy at the same time, waiting to tell me that I’m doing everything wrong. Frenemies, perhaps? Either way, don’t let other people make you feel as though your baby is behind, because they will do it when they’re good and ready.

The School Gates

My baby isn’t even three months yet (*shudders*, he will be in 6 days), and I’m already worrying about when he starts school. I’ll have to mingle with all the pushy parents at the school gates, all the mums in their Range Rovers waiting for their wonder kid to finish school.

I can hear it now. “Oh my Timothy got an A, in Literacy” (says in a posh, bragging tone). I’m waiting for the other mums to go all Mean Girls on me, for wearing the wrong thing, or some other crap like that. Maybe it’s being at school again that brings it out in people.

So…

Don’t let anyone make you feel inadequate as a parent. No matter what your methods are, no matter when your child starts to walk, talk or sleep all night, whether you leave them to cry, or not. You are wonderful! A big pat on the back to you (and a glass of wine).

If you agree/like this, or have any comments, please do share or comment below :)

 

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4 thoughts on “Mums at war

  1. Carly says:

    This unable to breastfeed mum sounds like me!… lol.
    Although totally agree. Fleur hates tummy time. Refuses to do it has since the beginning. Doesn’t roll and has just mastered sitting. She’s 7 months old. Babies in our group are crawling, rolling, talking, clapping and even taking some aided steps!

    I love my beautiful little girl and the fact that she isn’t doing these and it’s still pretty much lying or sitting there. Means she can be my baby for a bit longer and I can cherish the cuddles and laughs we have sitting and playing together. Rather than me having to chase her as she’s crawled out the room! I know she’s happy and healthy and I don’t care if other judge me!

    The glass of wine always helps ☺ xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • raisingmyminime says:

      Haha, it’s not actually about you don’t worry :) but I did think about you when I wrote it.
      Dominic hates tummy time too, so that’s reassuring!
      Wow, that’s amazing! But you’re right not to worry about that, they’re all different and by the time they need to they will all be able to do it all :)
      Yes cherish the bubba times before they’re running around, and toddlers!
      She is a happy, healthy and beautiful little baby girl :) xx

      Like

  2. Auntie Tracey says:

    Hahaha Sam, it doesn’t seem that long ago that we were talking like this about you and propping you up on the sofa at nanny and grandad’s house to watch Rupert and the Frog Chorus. Loving your blog, it’s like deja vu. And don’t worry about the school playground thing, it’s up to you whether you want to be part of that scene or not….I definitely was NOT! Love you lots xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • raisingmyminime says:

      And now I’m (almost) 25!! How time flies :) Oh Rubert, I remember that one! I most definitely won’t be part of that group! I live right by the school I want him to go to, so I’ll just run home :P Love you too! xxx

      Like

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